In the summer of 2016 I fell in love with a Danish woman, who had two kids. I was hanging around in Danmark at that time and quickly made the decision to stay. Sometimes you just know it’s the right thing that comes on your path.
Now, almost three years later, we live together in a house on the countryside in the south of Danmark. I’m new to parenting, since I decided a long time ago that I didn’t want to have kids myself. When I got older, I realized I could meet someone with kids, and that didn’t frighten me anymore. The kids of my partner are now 8 and 11, getting 9 and 12 this month (june). They were conceived in a lesbian relationship, with the seed from the same anonymous donor. They are very different and very alike, as often is the case. They are also very open hearted, the way they took me in, in their home and hearts, is just really amazing.
The youngest of the two has short hair since two year. She is the only girl in her class with short hair. She is one of the only girls in the whole school with short hair. She stopped wearing dresses a year ago and wears clothes she feels most comfortable in, what are sometimes the most funny looking combinations, because she certainly has her own style.
Lulu is tough, but also very sensitive.
So what goes on in her mind, when she is being mistaken for a boy a lot of the time? Does she feel the weird embarrassment I feel when I’m being called sir? It makes me sad and angry to see her go through these situations time and time again, because I know how it feels so well. I have been writing on my blog before about the restraints of our gender binary system and seeing it being poured over an 8 year old, is hard to watch. I can just think, when will the first time be, that she will be told she is in the wrong bathroom? Will she bend in the end and give in to that visible and invisible pressure that they put on her. Or does she dare to stay different and learn to embrace it. It’s gonna be a long road.