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my lady ain’t no lady
she doesn’t flow into a room—
she enters and her presence is felt.
she doesn’t sit small—
she takes all her space.
she doesn’t partake of meals—
she eats—replenishes herself.
my lady ain’t no lady—
she has been known
to speak in loud voice
to pick her nose,
stumble on a sidewalk,
swear at her cats,
swear at me,
scream obscenities at men,
paint rooms,
repair houses,
tote garbage,
play basketball,
& numerous other un lady like things.
my lady is definitely no lady
which is fine with me,
cause i ain’t no gentleman.

-Pat Barker

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